by any name

xavierjones:

James Adomian takes things that I say in the car on the way to the resturant and makes money off of them, appparently.  

Video via this BlackBook Article about gay comedians.

That’s it. I’m checking the car for bugs.

• (Two ridiculously built dudes are hanging out by the entrance. One is wearing a bright pink t-shirt.)
• Dude A: You should wear more pink. It makes you feel more manly.
• Dude B: I don't know, man. I can't really pull it off. I've never dressed like a woman before.
• Dude A: Hey, it makes me feel closer to them.

burn:

I’m sick of making my own gym routines, or finding them on the internet, and not knowing what the fuck I’m doing, so I decided to pay a personal trainer to make a routine for me and to meet up with sometimes. I’ve never had anyone knowledgeable to go to the gym with,  so it’s nice to have someone to be able to tell me when my squat form breaks down and god dammit look up Burn not at the floor YOU’RE DYING UNDER THE BAR

Anyway, uh, he looks like this.

Aside from being poor, this is absolutely a major reason why I have never even entertained the thought of a personal trainer, even though it would be super-helpful to have someone monitor my workout.

xavierjones:

art showwwwwwwwww (this weekend!)

Art shoowwwwww!

nervousacid:

My boyfriend John told me he loved Ernie as a kid, but I loved Bert. He couldn’t understand why anyone would love Bert — he is the boring one, after all — but in my mind, it made total sense that I’d want to be best friends with someone who collects paperclips. For one, my family couldn’t afford your fancy stamp and baseball collections, but my mother was delighted to buy office supplies for her five-year-old son. (I am not even making this up.) More importantly, you need to have a brilliant imagination to sit around and actually appreciate the nuances of a paperclip. That’s not always the person I am, but that’s still the type of person I want to be.

I’m the only person I know who was a fan of Rabbit (in the Winnie the Pooh cartoons) as a kid. Yeah, he was a little uptight, but he was the only one in the entire frigging forest that was ever trying to do anything to improve anything. Other than Owl, he was also the only one that ever had any books. Dude had time to hang out with his friends and also made his world a better place.

davevaleza:

this happens so much more than you’d think

Seriously, this is why I go by byanyname. I have a list of more than 30 names people have swapped with my name, almost immediately after me introducing myself.

xavierjones:

I get the best valentines.

It’s because you make these things happen in my head!

Glad this is worth the read. I really loved some stories out of St. Lucy’s Home for Girls Raised by Wolves.

sharingtime:

I struggled to get through the first half of this. Then I burned through a big chunk, got stuck again, and was so horrified by a plot twist near the end that I was determined to dislike the rest. And yet, ten pages later I read a paragraph so fucking beautiful that it made reading the whole thing worth it.

As I turned the last page of the book, I almost cried. It surprised me. I wasn’t reading anything particularly sad. But I didn’t! Then as I was typing this, the tears came. Not a tear. A bunch of ‘em.

It was because I remembered an anecdote about a family friend that I hadn’t thought about in years. Some background: the family friend was a voracious reader, in addition to being a mom and a wife. Sweet lady.

Anyways, the anecdote was this: on getting a book from the library/bookstore, she would immediately skip to the last page and read the last paragraph. She shared this bit of info with people. I never got why. I love having a story unfold in front of my eyes. I love not knowing about a book before diving into it. Why potentially ruin the book for yourself? Why do that? Just read the stupid thing!

She ended up dying of cancer a few years after the anecdote was told to me. She was young, still in her 40s. I guess the crying was a reaction to linking those two pieces of information together in my brain…the woman who read the last page of a book before she even started the damn thing is also the same woman who died of cancer at a young age.

So that’s what I thought about as I read the last page. That because this book was released long after she died, she wasn’t able to read its last page. But here I am, still relatively young, and soaking up every word.

And I had the distinct luxury of reading the whole goddamn book before I did.

labocat:

horrorwine:

corgiaddict:

thefrogman:

finalellipsis:

I made these gifs in ye olden dayes before photosets and 1MB limits and such. So I present to you:

Sparky the Dancing Corgi REDUX

…HD

ON ICE

YES. Good job, Sam. 

KIBBLE DANCE!!!!

ACORGIBLE.

Corgis!

No shame.

(via electricfeel76)

xavierjones:

OH NO.  what is this magnificent thing?  what beauty has come into my life?  

[who made this, I want to hug them]

I stand corrected.

“Arrested Development: Afternoon Delight (#2.6)” (2004)

Lucille: I have a plan to stave off intruders.
Michael Bluth: What’s that?
Lucille: [holds up an air horn and a fire poker] First I blow him then I poke him.
Michael Bluth: [stunned] Guy doesn’t know what he’s in for.